


i don't want to be sad anymore

by lostin_space



Series: quick little doodles [68]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Communication, Gen, Mentions of Echo - Freeform, Not so happy ending, mention of malex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22064218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostin_space/pseuds/lostin_space
Summary: Michael and Max discuss their relationship isues.
Relationships: Max Evans & Michael Guerin
Series: quick little doodles [68]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1441564
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27
Collections: Roswell New Mexico ▶ Michael Guerin / Alex Manes





	i don't want to be sad anymore

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on march 9th, 2019 whenever the first season was airing

“Man, how do you do it?” **  
**

Michael looked over at a very intoxicated Max who was nothing more than a pile of helpless in the lawn chair in front of Michael’s trailer. The fire flickered in front of them, giving them something to force their focus onto.

“How do I do what? Drink and not turn into a useless sack of flesh?” Michael snorted, taking a swig of his 8th or 9th beer. He lost count whenever Max strolled up and felt like playing brothers.

“No. How do you get by when you love someone for over a fucking decade, but you never get them because life is in the way? It’s like the universe doesn’t want me with Liz, it keeps pushing us apart whenever I get a chance.” Max grumbled. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Now what makes you think I know how to deal with that?” Michael asked, ignoring his stomach as it tightened. 

“You know I know about Alex. It’s the same thing.” Max insisted. A faint smirk found Michael’s face at how little Max actually knew. If he knew anything at all, he would know that he and Liz were nothing like Michael’s situation with Alex. The only thing they shared was the ten years of being apart.

“It isn’t.”

“How? We both want someone and every time we get a chance, this whole alien thing comes up. It’s basically forced unrequited love or something.” Max rambled on. Michael shook his head, willing away the pain in his chest with more denial.

“Not how it is.”

“That’s exactly how it is!”

“Well, for one, Alex and I were actually together.” Michael admitted. Max snapped his head to face Michael so quickly it probably gave him whiplash.

“Huh? When?”

“High school. Again when he got back from the air force.” Michael sighed, the mention of it dragging up painful memories involving a naked Alex paired and achingly loving kisses. Why couldn’t he just be numb?

“Oh… what happened then?” Max asked. Michael furrowed his eyebrows.

“Do you actually care?”

“Yeah. I’m your brother.”

Michael’s jaw clenched and a dry laugh pushing its way out. Now he was his brother? Not when he needed to help Isobel and not when Michael was absolutely miserable, but now that Max needed to vent, he was suddenly his brother.

“Why am I only your brother when it’s convenient for you?” Michael demanded, “You know what? Alex does this _same shit_. I mean, seriously, do I look like the kind of guy who is only there when it’s convenient? What about me? What about when I need a brother or when I need a‒” He cut himself off when he realized he had no idea what to call Alex. Boyfriend sounded too much. Fuck buddy wasn’t enough. “Forget it.”

“No, you’re right.” Max agreed. Michael tossed his head back, gazing up at the stars. Why couldn’t they take him back? No one down here wanted him. There had to be someone up there who did.

“You’ll forget you feel like that once you’re sober.” Michael shot back.

The silence that followed to prove Michael right felt like a stab in the gut. He’d never wanted to disappear more than he did now. He really was alone. Even more so now that Isobel was in a psych ward. Alex didn’t want him, Isobel didn’t need him, Max was… well, Max. What did he have left anymore?

“I’m sorry. About Alex. Maybe he’ll come around.” Max suggested. Michael stood to his feet, pausing as his head spun.

“He won’t.”

Michael made his way into the trailer, collapsing onto his tiny bed. For about a week, it’d smelled like Alex which had made sleeping easier. Until it faded, leaving him with nothing outside of loneliness. He longed for a day that it’d smell like him again.

But, until then, he’d have to deal with being alone.

**Author's Note:**

> also on my tumblr: spaceskam


End file.
